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“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.”
William James quotes (American Philosopher and Psychologist, leader of the philosophical movement of Pragmatism, 1842-1910)
Much easier said than done. I know. I have been there many times.
WHAT IS STRESS?
Maybe a better question is what isn’t stress? Stress. We all know of it, have experienced it – good and bad, but when you are in that caregiver situation you think or feel that it is just the day going by.
SYMPTOMS OF STRESS
There are four types of stress. They are: emotional, physical, behavioral, and cognitive. Some of the signs of stress are that you are anxious, worry too much, eat for no reason, or not eat as you are too tired, lapses in memory, poor judgment, moodiness, irritability, lack of focus or concentration for any length of time, can’t relax, or maybe just feeling alone, depressed, and/or overwhelmed, neglecting your normal responsibilities, aches and pains you had not previously experienced, or nausea and dizziness. You may be experiencing some or all of the above. This is stress.
These are all symptoms of stress. Simply put, stress is when you are put into situations where your body by design goes into a “fight or flight” mode due to the challenges that you are now in as a caregiver. Your focus used to be on things – every day things. Now, however, you are dealing with the every day normal things, but there is another dimension involved, more responsibilities, other challenges and all of this adds up to stress overload.
This could be a very lengthy discussion. So many things can happen once you start care giving for your loved one. Some of which I mentioned above, but once you start care giving for another, what you knew as normal has all suddenly changed and many times over night. You might find yourself more irritable than usual and just say that you are tired. That is you being stressed.
WHAT CAN YOU DO TO HELP YOURSELF?
We all read about so many things, but when we are in the situation ourselves, we forget. There are times when I was taking care of my father that when he was “finally” taking a nap, I could not sleep. There was laundry to be done, meal planning, a house to take care of, and the list goes on and on.
So, when I was so exhausted, there were times I would find myself at my computer playing those mindless games. Yes I hate to admit it, but I did. I had times when I just could not do what I would normally do naturally. I even had the audacity to tell myself that I was relaxing. Maybe sometimes I really was. It was just taking an escape from reality and the pressures.
So, when I put myself back into the third person as to what did I do when I was with a client instead of my father – things did change a bit. I love to read cookbooks and would read and plan a couple of meals ahead of time. And because I love to cook and try new recipes, I would soon find myself relaxed and the “stress tension” would go away. Then, because I love to cook, I would try new recipes and that became my therapy. The other thing I would try to focus on was that when I did put something out for my father to eat, I remembered what my great-aunt taught me many years ago. She used to tell me, “If you make it pretty, they will eat it.” You know…it works. So, especially when I pureed most of my dad’s food, I would try to make it “pretty” so he would eat. Plus we went almost totally organic in our house a couple of years ago and believe it or not, getting those chemicals out of your body, also helps relieve stress. But we will talk more about that another time.
Another thing that I have found very helpful over the years is a good old fashioned baby monitor. With that close at hand, I could take walks, breathe the fresh air, spend some quality alone time with myself. Believe me it does work.
There are a million and one things that you can do to help relieve stress, but when you are stressed, it is like the old saying, “you can’t see the forest for the trees.” Step back. Think about what it is you like to do for yourself and do it.
Now one other thing I want to mention, is a very important asset to your stress reduction. Support group. Not your spouse – they are there going through the same thing. True, you do need to depend on family members, but there are support groups out there that help you understand that you are NOT alone in your situation. Get on the phone and talk to a friend if nothing else – or until you find a support group that you are happy with.
NATURAL STRESS RELIEF TIPS
Another natural stress relief tip that might help bring a smile to you, is when you are out running your errands, stop by and buy an old fashioned bottle of bubbles. Stop at a park, or you can do this in your own back yard, blow bubbles. In each bubble that you blow, put one of your “troublesome” thoughts in a bubble until you run out of those thoughts. (In some cases, might I suggest a really big bottle of bubbles?!) You might feel a little silly, who cares? It works. And it might just put a little smile on your face.
I am working on putting together a resource page that will hopefully help you in finding a support group or organization that will point you in the right direction. In the meantime, should you have any questions, special concerns, please do feel free to contact me and I will answer. You are a special person for doing what you are doing and I might already have your answer, if you ask.
On more little treat for you today is a wonderful foot soak that I have used many times and highly recommend: 4-6 Tbs peppermint, enough water for a foot bath (or you can use two shallow foot-size pans if you do not have a foot bath). Boil the water and pour over the peppermint. Let steep for 10-15 minutes, or until it is at a comfortable temperature for your feet. Put your feet in the peppermint water and enjoy.
Another thing I do with this recipe is put some in a spray or mist bottle and when I am feeling really run down, and my feet are aching, give them a little spray and viola! Rejuvenated.
Until next time, Many blessings,
Kathryn